Reflecting on Motherhood

I know that there is nothing new or profound that I have to say about motherhood. Nothing that I could possibly say that hasn’t already been eloquently captured and written by the millions and millions of women across time and space who have held their babies in their arms for the very first time.

Motherhood and, more specifically, being Wyatt’s mother shifted every molecule of my being until each was almost unrecognizable. My identity, worth, and who I am forever changed. My happiness will always be intertwined with his. What a huge sacrifice, what a privilege, what responsibility.

Before Wyatt, I would have cringed and rolled my eyes at the thought that someone, especially me, would lose so much of themselves to motherhood. I am finding, however, that whenever I feel like I am losing a piece of myself being Wyatt’s mom, I am also birthing an even better version of myself. One that is selfless, empathetic, and cares more deeply for her fellow humans. With the birth of Wyatt, so too was the birth of a new me.

I distinctly remember, on the ride home from the hospital, sitting in the backseat with our newborn, freshly postpartum and full of hormones, thinking that no one has loved something or someone as much as I love this baby so recently, part of my flesh. It shocked me to think these feelings were a shared experience as they were so intimate to my being. That a mother across the globe whose native tongue, culture, and background are so vastly different from mine feels similar feelings towards her child. Shocked that although we have seemingly nothing in common, we are all bound together by motherhood.

At that moment, a part of my heart expanded, blinded by how much love we each walk around with on a daily basis. How immense our capacity to grow and love - more, more, more. My heart could have been crushed under the heaviness of this realization. Never before had I valued human life in the same way.

The more moments I experience as a mother, the more I realize that I am not losing myself; I am finding myself. I am more me than I have ever been.

I was born for this.